Caravans v cars: which road-trip wheels are right for you?

Where do I stand on caravans? For a long time, I was as far away from them as possible, preferably in the nearest Four Seasons.

I grew up in remote northern Scotland, and credit my impressive bladder strength to long hours on single-track roads, stuck behind caravans.

That leaves you with enough emotional baggage to fill a six-berth family tourer.

I like comfort, too, which meant that unless it became possible to haul an entire junior suite along with room service, bar, spa, rooftop pool, gym and concierge, caravans were a no-tow zone.

The epiphany came one August in that same part of Scotland. With no hotel vacancies, my only option was a static caravan in the town's campsite.

In the morning, I opened the door - and gasped. Right on a clifftop on the country's northernmost edge, surrounded by ocean and isles, I wasn't just looking at the view - I was in it.

As I basked in my privileged perch, it hit home that I'd narrowly avoided paying five times the price for views of shops and houses. And at last, I understood caravans.

A powered site on a picturesque Australian campsite costs as little as $35, and it's a portal to landscapes that bricks and mortar simply can't reach.

You can put a caravan on a clifftop, beside a creek, on mountain slopes or beaches, in forests or vineyards, deep in the bush and far off-road.

You can step straight into million-dollar vistas like the infinity pool at Lake Argyle Caravan Park in Kununurra, WA, one of the Kimberley's most stunning spots. In a similarly located hotel, your bill would be as epic as the view.

Caravan parks have smartened up a whole lot, too.

The best ones boast major facilities such as day spas, fitness studios, yoga classes, all-day kids' activity programmes that put your school to shame, and door-to-door wine and barista coffee delivery. Yes - room service!

Much like boats, you can find a small tinnie caravan for a couple of grand - or you can splurge six figures on a portable palace like Brad Pitt's spaceship-sized, customised Airstream. Underfloor heating, leather upholstery, opulent bathrooms - all towable.

But these days, you don't need to commit. RV sharing platforms let you flirt with #vanlife and they'll even tow your wheeled accommodation to your chosen site.

You can spend your saved dollars on fine drops without minibar mark-ups, and swap the elevator queue for the grandest hotel lobby of all: the great outdoors.

I'm such a caravan convert that last time I stayed in a luxury villa, I was caught trying to attach it to my car and tow it home.

By Mal Chenu

Time to get your motor running and head out on the highway.

The excitement of looking for adventure and whatever comes your way. Unless you're dragging a caravan, in which case you should put the excitement in the tepid bar fridge, slow down to a safe, responsible speed and carefully move to the left lane.

Born to be mild.

To paraphrase Beat Generation novelist Jack Kerouac from his iconic novel On the Road: All you need is a wheel in your hands and four on the road.

You'll note Jack said four wheels. Not six or eight.

Freedom is the essence of the road trip and when you head out on the highway on only four wheels, you can stop in any normal-sized parking spot, and you can partake in that obligatory Australian road trip rite of passage - the Maccas drive-through.

You don't even have to start from your driveway. Your next open-road adventure is as close as a Hertz office.

You could even pimp up your road trip with a cool convertible. Or a Ferrari or Lamborghini or vintage classic.

Head up to the Blue Mountains in NSW, along the Great Ocean Road in Victoria, or down to Margaret River in WA.

Cruise up the middle of Tassie from Hobart to Launceston or through the Flinders Ranges in SA.

Take to the high country, view a few valleys, follow a river or just follow your nose. Chase the sun along the coast.

Wherever the highways and byways lead, you are free to indulge in funky B&Bs, cool motel stays and intriguing local restaurants.

All because you chose the optimum number of wheels.

Hitch up a caravan and you take your housework with you on holiday. Having brought your kitchen, bed and living room along for the ride, you really are obliged to use them.

So you cook and wash the dishes and make the bed and sweep the floor. And not only do you have to clean the toilet, you get to empty it too! Another highlight is the chance to show off your best thongs in the caravan park communal shower.

Getting close to nature is one thing but insects are attracted to the bright lights of caravan parks, so you'll also spend a fair bit of time battling spiders and mozzies, and hoping you won't get your ticks on Route 66.

Put simply, the 12V life isn't the power trip you thought it would be. So spare a thought for the caravan people you passed a few hours ago trying to fix their broken axle on the side of the road.

Lugging around a caravan might save you a few dollars but at what cost?

Stick to the car and your road trip should go off without a hitch.