Two ways to go: Big ships v small ships

By Mal Chenu

For life on the ocean wave, size matters. Five thousand passengers can't be wrong. But if you don't like crowds, big-ship cruising probably isn't for you. Perhaps a kayak is more your speed, although these tend to have fewer dining options. When you cruise on a big ship, it doesn't matter where you are headed; these floating resorts ARE the destination. Big ships have more and better bars, restaurants, activities, entertainment and qualifying adjectives. They have larger pools, grander buffets, longer water slides, vaster spas and gyms. Greater sports zones with longer putt-putt holes. Huge parties where you can sip gigantic cocktails from enormous dolphin-shaped drinking vessels with curlier straws.

Big-ship cruise lines are always looking for more onboard thrills and attractions, and this competition constantly raises the bar. Like Royal Caribbean's Bionic Bar, where robots make your cocktail without expecting a tip or expressing an opinion. Operating the largest ships at sea, Royal Caribbean literally leads this arms race - a mechanical arm raises its North Star observation capsule out over the side of the ship, 100 metres above sea level. Royal Carib also features surf simulators, indoor sky diving, bumper cars, zip lines and ice rinks. Carnival Cruise Line's Mardi Gras boasts a roller coaster. The latest Norwegian Cruise Line vessels have go-kart tracks reaching speeds of 50km/h. What a world we live in!

Many ships offer virtual reality experiences, escape rooms, laser tag and rope courses. They all have high-definition poolside movie screens and sports bars offering the world's greatest events, and a limitless choice of ales. The Wi-Fi coverage is superior on big ships, too, as is the technology. Princess Cruises' MedallionClass allows you to order a drink and have it delivered to you anywhere on the ship, even if you're on the move.

You can also catch big-budget, lavishly produced Broadway and West End shows, such as Cats, Footloose, Jersey Boys, Grease and Hairspray. Disney Cruise Line belts out Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin and Frozen, while MSC Cruises hosts Cirque de Soleil, and Cunard's Queen Mary 2 has a planetarium in a luxury 3D cinema that doubles as a classical music venue.

Beyond the big productions, big ships run classes in cooking, photography, languages, mixology, wine tasting, art appreciation, Zumba, painting, dancing, astronomy and the art of animal towel folding, which could come in handy at any time. Small ships have bingo and mahjong tournaments, and maybe later a crew member will get out his guitar and play Wonderwall after he's done the dishes.

With all this going for them, you would be entitled to think big ships rock. But they don't. With all their built-in stabilisers, it's smooth sailing all the way.

By Amy Cooper

Go big or go home, so the saying goes. But when it comes to cruise ships, the opposite is true. You can either go big, or you can go to the Arctic, Antarctica, Patagonia, Transylvania, Costa Rica, Sea of Cortez, Galapagos Islands, the fjords of Tierra del Fuego, the Kimberley - or all the other extraordinary places only small ships can reach. The perfect cruise is like Tom himself: diminutive, dazzling, remarkably agile - and a ticket to action, romance and glamour.

What is the ocean, if not adventure? We land mammals have always looked to the high seas for the allure of the glorious unknown. We throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbour and leave our comfort zone on the shore. A great voyage means gazing outwards to distant horizons, not inwards at the golf simulator, ropes trail or water slide.

Small ships connect you with a golden age of exploration, where final frontiers still exist. Places out of bounds to their behemoth big sisters. A compact vessel such as Lindblad's National Geographic Resolution ventures deep into the Antarctic Circle to some of the planet's most pristine and remote regions. She carves through ice fields and rests in fast ice, so you can step right out onto untrodden white vistas.

Small ships can shimmy along narrow waterways and inaccessible river systems, sidle up to natural wonders, slip nimbly into quiet coves and hug tricky coastlines in ways no mega-vessel ever could.

The Australian 36-passenger True North takes you near enough to the Kimberley's King George Falls to feel its mist on your face. Alaskan Dream Cruises' Kruzof Explorer, a luxed-up former Bering Sea crab fishing boat, navigates south-east Alaska's hidden nooks and crannies, close enough for eye contact with brown bears.

Small ships are beautiful, too. Rather than creating their own giant skyline, they complement the vistas with their sleek silhouettes. Some have sails, like Le Ponant, a sumptuous French three-masted sailing ship, or Sea Cloud II, a three-masted barque that glides around the Mediterranean like a sailing supermodel, or Star Clippers' Royal Clipper, a full-rigged, five-masted stunner with all the polished brass, gleaming timber and billowing sails of a bygone era.

Then there are river cruises, carrying you beyond the coastal fringes deep into countries and cultures. Down the Irrawaddy or up the Nile, along the Volga, Danube, Rhine, Yangtze or Mekong, small ships sail right up to the gates of castles, temples and cathedrals, through vineyards and into the hearts of cities, too.

If you take to the seas for freedom and open air, if crowds and rules make you mutinous and you don't want queues in your cruise, small ships will definitely float your boat.