Adventure meets luxury, with a side of unforgettable wildlife encounters.
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Two men - one middle aged and Italian, the other a younger American - are jumping up and down in front of me, screaming in crazed joy.
Beside them, three nervous Japanese ladies in bikinis down shots: whisky, tequila, vodka.
People cheer, hug, celebrate and congratulate in (I count at least 10) different languages.
This is not the start of a joke, an all-night rave or a sporting celebration.
We are in a frozen empire at the bottom of the world, in the mud room of an Expedition cruise ship, wearing cossies and slippers.
There's an inflatable boat, a Zodiac, just beyond and the screaming men have just jumped from it into the icicle-covered dark waters.
What's more, it's snowing. And I'm up next.
One of the best parts of travel is its capacity to expand the traveller's mind, often by putting them in uncomfortable situations.
Jumping into Antarctica's Southern Ocean - temperature, one degree - is one of these times.
Silver Endeavour is Silversea's newest ship and the one that the high-end cruise line describes as "the most luxurious expedition ship ever built" ... with industry-leading crew-to-guest, Zodiac-to-guest and expert-to-guest ratios and cutting-edge navigation and exploration technology.
We've set off on what could be described as Antarctica-Lite: just six days to cruise from King George Island and back again, with 11 ports and a look at the all-important penguin colonies included. This Antarctica Bridge option skips the notoriously choppy Drake Passage to fly directly to the continent, which for someone who has been known to feel a little queasy on the Manly ferry is just fine. It's also faster, eschewing the time of a '"standard" 10-day Antarctica cruise - six days there bookended by the two-day Drake crossing.
Over six days, we discover the magic of Antarctica, and then some. Getting up close and personal with penguins. Witnessing giant seabirds dismember a whale carcass. Feeling orcas dive under our group of kayaks. And the polar plunge - a sought after experience on an already bucket list adventure, with almost half of the cruise guests participating, a range of shapes and sizes, nationalities and ages.
Exhilarating, unique, ridiculous and memorable, the plunge encapsulates the whole adventure, a wondrous juxtaposition of the most extreme wilderness, natural beauty, and luxury. Afterwards, giddy with glee, we take the golden lift to the blessedly warm outdoor spa on deck 6.
This is the new coveted cruise - adventure meets luxe. Our suite is spacious with a huge comfy bed, plenty of storage, coffee machine, mini bar and a 24-hour personal butler, Navi. He doesn't get much of a workout - we spend most of the time in lectures, exploring the ship's hospitality venues, spa and library and on the life-affirming shore visits.
We learn that Antarctic seabirds (including its famous penguins) consume more than half their body weight in food, every day. When Nick, the ship's resident bird expert, quips that they are like everyone on a Silversea Antarctica cruise, it rings true. There are four restaurants, a cafe, several bars including a sexy cigar lounge and a constant stream of snacks and drinks.
The fact that we can take a luxury cruise to the white continent and drink and dine on a floating palace by night and then explore the world's highest, driest, windiest, coldest continent by day is mind-blowing.
Seen only by wildlife until 1820, Antarctica remains one of Earth's least accessible and most breathtaking realms.
This is a place that Captain Cook never found, and famously said he doubted anyone ever would. In 1907, Ernest Shackleton wrote: "The stark polar lands grip the hearts of the men who have lived on them in a manner that can hardly be understood by the people who have never got outside the pale of civilisation." Many of the men based here to hunt seals and whales in the 18th to 20th centuries lost their sanity and even their lives.
Almost all (about 98 per cent) of Antarctica is covered in ice. In the centre, some of the ice is 2.7 million years old. It's a hard environment to live on: indeed the flightless midge is the only land creature endemic to Antarctica and there are only two species of flowering plants.
But we get to experience its wonders up close as we voyage beyond any beaten track. Of the five species of penguins, who spend 75 per cent of their lives in water, we meet three of them. Adelie, the ones that look like they have donned a tux, and the only true black penguin; Gentoo, with their signature long tail and the Chinstrap, with the thin under-chin line of black feathers, also known as the stonebreaker, because of their shattering shriek.
Viewing these thousands of penguins up close is thrilling, a life highlight. It's December so most are busy nesting, and not at all intimidated by us, they continue their preening, mating, squawking and waddling. For many minutes on beautiful Neko Harbour, I stand and quietly focus on one hilarious little Gentoo guy, dirty and dishevelled, who has decided it's easier to steal the pebbles used to line the nest from other penguins than search for them by the shore. He speedily zigzags throughout the colony, grabbing pebbles with abandon, receiving several nips in the process, dumps them in the nest, then starts his thieving again.
Predatory skuas, or "seagulls on steroids" as one guest describes them, circle the flapping penguins, who are earnestly protecting their eggs. On Paulet Island, off the north-eastern end of the Antarctic Peninsula, we witness a skua swooping and then scooping up an Adelie penguin's egg, flying away and leaving behind misery, as the bereft penguin waddles back and forwards in despair. It's what can happen out here in the elements, but I can't stop thinking about his plaintive cries for the rest of the day. A penguin only breeds once a year, and needs to safeguard and warm the (up to two) eggs for two months.
Later, a few metres up the hill, there are happy, human cries, as one of the Puerto Rican guests gets down on one knee in front of the penguins and proposes to his girlfriend.
Speckled black and white gulls duck dive on the water's edge. The occasional whale spurts in between. In the distance, the snow and ice covered mountains look like Impressionist paintings.
Seals lounge within metres from us on shore, and frequently on passing icebergs and we see whales, too, the minke and the humpback. We also spot orcas and then krill from our kayaks: Antarctic krill are so numerous, we learn, that they can be seen from outer space.
Off Spert island, in ethereal glassy conditions, Dennis turns off his zodiac engine so we can hear the crackling of thousands of pieces of ice. Breathing the cold, exhilarating air, listening to this sound like no other, is awe-inspiring.
I knew of course that icebergs were all different shapes and sizes but the variation in colour - from bright pure white to ethereal blue to greyish - astounds me. Some look like majestic cathedrals, others like squat farmhouses spaced out on a sea field. One has a giant mermaid emblem strutting out on top. There are enormous sea creatures, an ancient city of buildings, intricate archways and jagged mountains. Some have dipped upside down, exposing up their giant underside with their honeycomb patterns made by the sea. "You have to be very careful around the icebergs," says our zodiac driver Dane. "Only 20 per cent is above the surface. They can flip the zodiac." He pulls out a big piece of glacial ice, perhaps 100 thousand years old: it looks like a fancy ice sculpture in the foyer of a posh hotel. It's salty on the outside, but super clean and fresh in. The biggest icebergs are named by scientists and can be tracked by satellites.
On the ship, there are numerous places to sit and gawp at the phenomenal scenery but these are my top three: the balcony of our suite on deck five; by the huge floor-to-ceiling window over breakfast at The Grill on the pool-deck; from up high in the main bar on deck nine, possibly with a cocktail and perky and dedicated entertainment director Jonathan conducting trivia nearby.
Spotting the random floating blocks of ice with penguins - or just the lone penguin - chilling out atop, as though placed there for our amusement, becomes addictive.
Visiting Antarctica is a once-in-a-lifetime experience, a reminder that our planet is so special and should be treasured. So while the rise in cruise ships to the area raises eyebrows, the sustainability and education measures they offer are important.
The expedition crew includes geologists, glaciologists, ornithologists and other scientists and they are from all over the world, including India, Latvia, Scotland, Australia, Indonesia, Chile, South Africa, the Ukraine, France and Norway. We have enrichment lectures - from history to ecology to photography - and learn all about this wild wilderness frontier and the duty and honour in protecting it.
There are morning and evening expedition briefings daily, at which the rules are reiterated: keep five metres away from the penguins, don't feed them, don't take anything, never walk between a mother seal and her pup. The Antarctic Treaty implemented in 1961 ensures that the continent can only be used for peace, and has seen numbers of seals and other marine wildlife rebound hugely.
For me, like many guests, it was my seventh continent ticked off. But this was the one that left us with a new and unforgettable appreciation of the beauty and wonder of wildlife and the world and our place in it.
THE NEW LUXE EXPEDITION CRUISE
Avoid potential seasickness and spend more time in Antarctica by skipping the notorious Drake Passage: that's the benefit of Silversea's newest and most premium Antarctica Expedition offering.
Passengers fly LatAm from Santiago to Punta Arenas, Chile, stay overnight, then fly DAP Antarctic Airways to Antarctic Peninsula's King George Island, where the gravel runway serves various international research stations, to embark their ship, with the same in reverse for their return. Silversea has an exclusive partnership with DAP Antarctic Airways and the flights are as premium as possible, with a bar service, meals, entertainment and no one assigned a middle seat.
The cruise line calls it 'the fast track to the last continent'.
However, travelling to such a remote location can be unpredictable. After telling all who would listen I saw no point in crossing the Drake, our flights to King George island were cancelled due to "an unexpected and unusual snow squall event" and we were informed the night before that we had to cross it. Many of us rushed to the chemist for Mareamin, the recommended seasickness medication; a group of travellers from mainland China decided to cancel.
However, it was communicated and planned seamlessly. We boarded the ship a night early and in the end it was fine. We had a relatively smooth sail (three metre seas rather than up to 17!) and secured the "I crossed the Drake" rite of passage for visiting Antarctica.
And the first glimpse of land, after so much sea, is special. Explorer Louis Bernacchi apparently gushed: "It was the most marvellous sight I have ever seen in my life, no words can adequately describe it. Imagination's utmost stretch in wonder dies away."
The snow had cleared for our return journey, so we were able to fly from Antarctica and connect with our Aussie flight home.
SNAPSHOT
THE SHIP: Silversea Expeditions Silver Endeavour
THE SIZE: 220 guests, 207 crew, eight passenger decks, 110 suites;164.4 metres long, 28.35 metres wide.
GOOD TO KNOW: Prefer to eat in? The 24-hour butler comes with free-flowing premium wines and spirits and in-suite, serviced gourmet dining for every suite.
GET ON BOARD: Antarctica Bridge voyages from King George Island return on Silver Endeavour door-to-door $27,400pp (or port-to-port from $22,950pp). Pricing is available until February 29, 2024, and is subject to availability.
EXPLORE MORE: www.silversea.com
The writer was a guest of Silversea.