TAKING THE TRAIN
By Amy Cooper
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I recently watched The Italian Job again. It felt very familiar. Especially that scene where the three Mini Coopers hurtle around Turin, scattering pedestrians and marketplaces, up and down church staircases and across buildings. I'm a Brit, you see, and that's the sort of thing that happens when we try driving on the European continent.
As Michael Caine's Charlie Croker said: "In this country they drive on the wrong side of the road."
In Europe, they drive on the right, which isn't right. After a lifetime of hugging the left, don't underestimate the challenge of becoming a moving mirror image. Particularly on the German Autobahn, where speed limits are considered a quaint convention for those with an inferior automotive industry, and driving feels like one long terrifying horizontal bungy jump surrounded by Porsches and Mercs going supersonic.
I'd much rather kick back in the bar lounge car on the gracious Golden Danube Express as it winds through the Saxony wine region on its way from Dresden to Prague. Or admire the spectacular Norwegian fjords from a window seat on the Bergen Railway as it traverses Europe's highest mountain plateau. Or marvel at the Matterhorn on the Glacier Express through the Swiss Alps from Zermatt to St Moritz. (As you'd hope in such stunning surroundings, the pace is more glacial than express.)
Scenic rides like those are all about slow travel, soaking up the surrounding beauty. But if it's swift, efficient transport you're after, trains win the race, too. Spain's Euromed rockets from Barcelona to Alicante at up to 200 kilometres an hour, the Railjet whisks you from Vienna to Budapest at 230 kilometres an hour in just 2.5 hours, and Italy's fastest train, Frecciarossa ("red arrow"), zaps between major cities at up to 400 kiloemtres an hour, with mod cons including a bistro car where you can eat pasta while going faster.
Scenic rides like those are all about slow travel, soaking up the surrounding beauty.
A Eurail pass gives you unlimited travel on all kinds of train routes across 33 countries and more than 30,000 destinations, and costs as little as $370.
And while lavish locomotives like the Venice Simplon-Orient-Express, with its opulent accommodation and baby grand piano, evoke a glorious golden era of travel, even an everyday train can be your window to wonders.
One of my favourites is the 3.5-hour stretch from Inverness to Thurso, my Scottish Highland birthplace; a $30 meander along the North Sea coastline past castles, lochs and moors. Drive the single-track roads and perilous hairpin bends instead and you'll need to stop at every distillery for a nerve-soothing dram. Except you won't be able to - because you're driving.
Take the wheel for your Euro adventures if you must, but when it comes to car or buffet car, I know which I'd choo-choo choose.
HITTING THE ROAD
By Mal Chenu
The very first line of Australia's unofficial national anthem recounts the romance of the road, especially when travelling in a fried-out Kombi. In the good old days, young Aussies would head to London with no plans and no money, catch the tube from their bedsit in Earls Court to Australia House in Aldwych, buy a van for a few quid, a six-pack of Fosters and the half a bag of weed they scored in the Overseas Visitors Club, and head off to buy bread from a man in Brussels.
While this wonderfully reckless approach may no longer be in vogue due to changing attitudes, gentrification, common sense, climate change (probably) and the universal understanding that Fosters is too crap to be currency, the allure of the open road remains. Travelling around Europe with the freedom to go anywhere is a thrill not enjoyed by train passengers, who are captive to inflexible timetables and even more inflexible tracks.
When you travel in your fried-out Kombi - or top-of-the-range electric SUV hire car - every little bucolic village, quiet valley, hidden laneway, rustic inn, medieval castle, historical site and natural attraction can be yours. Just enter the destination on Google maps, follow the instructions and try to stay on the same side of the road as everyone else.
Every little bucolic village, quiet valley, hidden laneway, rustic inn, medieval castle, historical site and natural attraction can be yours.
Michelin Red Guides list hundreds of eateries and lodges not reachable by train. You will also happen across streetside providores and off-the-beaten-track wineries. On a speeding train these eschewed gems flash past the window as wistful, relative Einsteinian blurs.
The autonomy of the automobile means no crowded train stations with 10-euro lattes and yesterday's croissants, and no slaloming in and out of migrating tour groups dragging enormous suitcases along the platforms. Just self-guided self-determination. And after all, it is all about you, isn't it?
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Europe is a continent of convenience. The big hire care companies have offices everywhere and alliterative alternatives abound. Hire your Hertz in Hamburg and hand it back in Helsinki. Acquire your Avis in Amsterdam and abandon it in Antwerp. Bring your Budget from Barcelona to Bologna. Europcar from Utrecht to Udine. And you can often put your car on the train and get the best of both worlds, especially if you want to retrace the steps of your ancestors and begin your adventure in Aldwych and cross the Channel on the Eurostar. Being away from the train lines, big cities and tourist traps, accommodation is way cheaper, too, especially if you meet a strange lady who takes you in and gives you breakfast. And if the hotels are full, simply drive to the next town.
As much as Amy might want to rail against the use of cars, they are the best way to explore the European countryside. Get your motor running and head out on the Autobahn.